these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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