i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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