So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
