she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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