what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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