come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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