The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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