WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
