Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
