We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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