I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
