Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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