Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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