My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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