okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
