Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They took my balls.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
