come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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