i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
