I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
