he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
