the day after is always just damage control
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
