Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
