The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
