So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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