i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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