Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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