seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
