i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
