At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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