You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
