Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
