after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
