i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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