my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
