Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
