she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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