I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
