FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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