if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
