on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
