also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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