you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
