his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize