I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
