wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
