Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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