When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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