I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
