your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
wow bdsm is so cute
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