Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
