this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
