please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
