I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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