nut hugger
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
