three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
