She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
