ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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