i would punch a child for taco bell
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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