The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
