no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
