wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
