with your own penis?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
