So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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