Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
